stronger than you thought
by mazikem
Summary: Lizzy's world shatters when Ciel reappears. ONESHOT.


Lizzy's world shatters when Ciel reappears.

Notes: Inspired mostly by Chapter 144. Because Kuroshitsuji arcs crawl along with the monthly release pacing and I really want some positive Lizzy content which doesn't appear to exist so I had to write it myself seriously why is this entire fandom all Sebaciel

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Lizzy's world shatters when Ciel reappears before her. She spends the next few weeks in a daze, paralyzed, unable to leave Ciel's side in fear that he would once again vanish before her eyes. It is only when she meets the imposter once again, when everything is revealed, does she return home, crying in her brother's arms. Lizzy is home again, surrounded by her family and the comforts of her room, but she has never been more lost.

One thought pounds through her brain in a perpetual refrain: what should she do? The boy she thought she loved and cherished, the boy she thought was her fiancé, the boy who had called himself Ciel Phantomhive for the last three years, had been nothing but an imposter. An imposter who shared his face but an imposter nonetheless, and Lizzy had not realized in the slightest.

At first, Lizzy denounced the imposter, who lied to her and tricked her. But, if the imposter had not lied, she would not have been happy that he had returned instead of Ciel. She knows that she would have hurt him terribly. The imposter's lies were not malicious. He did not intend to hurt her. Likely, he was not thinking about her at all. He called himself "Ciel" for reasons she does not know, to fulfill goals she does not understand. It is not his fault, and if the real Ciel had never returned, she never would have realized a thing. Her pain is caused by the shifting of the world, of many people with independent goals acting towards the completion of those goals: Ciel, his brother, Undertaker. None of them can be blamed for what has befallen her, and now, she is left with nothing but the harsh realization of the shallowness of her character and the falsity of her love. She's truly lost, with no one to blame and nothing to hold onto.

Lizzy is selfish. She's truly an awful person; the only reason she was happy back then was because she thought Ciel had returned, and she had never realized otherwise. How could she not have noticed? She was supposed to have loved Ciel dearly. But she truly believed that Ciel's brother was him; she did not notice any different mannerisms, actions, memories. She brushed away any suspicions she might have had; she never considered for a moment that Ciel might not really be Ciel. And now, although the real Ciel has returned to her, she cannot bring herself to be happy. Lizzy knows that Ciel is not a good person; she knows that he and the Undertaker are behind the murders at Sphere Music Hall, that they are harvesting people for blood in pursuit of something nefarious. Lizzy knows the Ciel who has returned is not the Ciel she remembers, not the kind boy who played with her in the grass outside the Phantomhive Manor and who constantly smiled openly and kindly. The Ciel now is as beautiful as ever, but his beauty has turned cold and haughty and dangerous. And yet, she has said nothing. She did nothing but stay by his side. So far, she has been nothing but a pawn in the game Ciel is playing with his brother, caught up in the goals of others.

Once, Lizzy had goals too. Her world revolved around Ciel. As a child, she vowed to never become the type of scary wife he despised, but rather stay cute, and become a wife that Ciel would protect. After the fire, she dreamed of becoming a wife who would protect Ciel. A strong wife, even if it meant no longer being cute. The wife of the Queen's Watchdog.

Low heeled shoes. Mother's lessons. Swords with which to protect Ciel. That is what she was made of. Without Ciel, Lizzy is lost. Who is she without him? But that Ciel doesn't exist. The wife she wanted to be doesn't exist. Instead, now, she has to become someone else.

As Lizzy lies on her bed, her tears begin to subside. She is lost, but she is also free, untethered from all her previous expectations and dreams. Lizzy doesn't need to base her life around Ciel anymore, a life based upon a lie. She can live for herself, choose the things that make her happy. She can wear her cute high heeled shoes, keep her mother's lessons and her swords for herself, her own goals and desires, whatever they may end up being.

Lizzy's world shattered, but she is strong. She will put it back together. Lizzy gets up, calls for Paula, puts on her cutest dress, fixes her makeup and her hair, and prepares to face the world. Lizzy still doesn't know what she is going to do about Ciel and his crimes. But whatever, she decides, she will make the choice for herself. She does not need Ciel Phantomhive, either of them. She is her own person without them.

She is the daughter of Alexis Leon Midford, Marquess of Midford and Head of the Order of the British Empire. She is Elizabeth Midford, and she is no one's wife.


End file.
